My bereavement support book: Hannah James

Hannah James, Music Therapist at Hospice in the Weald, recently published her very own bereavement support story for children; The Day The Earth Grew Stronger. Here, Hannah shares what the book is about, why she decided to write it, and how she feels it could be of benefit to some of the patients and families being cared for at the Hospice. 

How would you summarise your book?  

The Day the Earth Grew Stronger is an engaging short story offering bereavement support and guidance for parents and guardians of young children. The story provides a strong foundation for opening difficult conversations around the theme of death, helping children to better understand the concept.  

While many people choose to believe in heaven, The Day the Earth Grew Stronger provides a unique angle of belief and how a person’s body or soul is passed back through the earth and lives on through nature. The story approaches death in a direct yet sensitive manner; providing both explanation and comfort and provides a safe space for children to process grief and loss. 

What made you want to write it?

Since lockdown, there has been a lot of exposure to death in younger people with families at the Hospice. I have been asked for advice many times on how to explain death to young children without using confusing language, whilst also trying to be direct, yet sensitive. The idea came about after experiencing a lot of this, and trying to find a way of providing a resource to these families that would help them with the below the below areas.

1) Facilitating difficult conversations 

Starting the conversation: For many parents, talking about death with their children can be daunting. The book provides a gentle and age-appropriate way to introduce the topic, making it easier for parents to begin this important conversation.  Also providing a framework: The story gives parents a clear framework to discuss what happens when someone dies. It introduces the idea of a person’s body or soul returning to the earth and living on through nature, offering a comforting narrative that can be easier for children to understand.

2) Offering comfort and reassurance 

Reassuring children: Through the book’s message, parents can reassure their children that their loved one continues to be a part of the world in a new way. This idea can help alleviate some of the fear and confusion that children may feel about death. Additionally, providing emotional support: Reading the story together allows parents to offer comfort and physical closeness, which can be very reassuring for a child. The shared experience of reading and discussing the story can strengthen the parent-child bond during a difficult time. 

 3) Helping parents process their own grief 

Supporting parental grief: The book’s themes of continuity and the natural cycle of life can also be comforting to parents as they process their own grief. By seeing death as a transformation rather than an end, parents may find a sense of peace that they can then share with their child. Also, creating a shared experience: The story can serve as a healing tool not just for the child but for the entire family. It offers a way for parents and children to grieve together, share memories, and support each other. 

4) Providing a new perspective on death 

Offering an alternative belief: For parents who may not adhere to traditional religious views of the afterlife, the book provides an alternative perspective that focuses on the natural world and the idea of living on through nature. This can be particularly helpful for families looking for a secular or nature-based explanation of death. And finally, encouraging reflection: The book may also encourage parents to reflect on their own beliefs about death and how they wish to convey those beliefs to their children. This reflection can help parents communicate more clearly and consistently with their child. 

The Day The Earth Grew Stronger was not published by Hospice in the Weald and the views expressed in this book and article are not necessarily those shared by the Hospice.